Honestly, I’m trying to figure out how I even start this blog post. I feel as though my head is still spinning because of the recent and fairly sudden decision to sell our home and move.
How? What? Why? When? Exactly! Those are precisely the questions my wife and I are asking ourselves at this very moment. But, I will do my best to fill you in and hopefully answer a few of these questions.
Covid Stimulus Money
I’m from Mississippi and my wife is from Tennessee. But, North Carolina has felt more like home than any place we had ever lived. We love the location, the city, the proximity to the mountains, and the beach, we have an amazing community of friends, and we purchased what we consider to be our “dream home.” So, the idea of leaving has never been on our radar.
So, what prompted this life-changing decision? Covid stimulus money. Let me explain.
My wife and I are both self-employed – I’m a blogger and she’s a graphic designer. And, sometimes self-employed people fall behind on their taxes…FOR THREE YEARS! Yes, we had not filed taxes for 2018, 2019, or 2020. But, relax, we’re almost finished and caught up.
Because of this little lapse, we didn’t receive any stimulus payments and like others in our situation, we would be getting it as a tax credit and in a lump sum.
We begin to talk about things we could fix around the house and do some updating. In the middle of our conversation, my wife asked if I thought we would be in our current house for another ten years to which I quickly replied, “Why wouldn’t we?”
For some reason, that question stayed with me all night and I hardly slept. The more I thought about it, staying in Charlotte, NC for the rest of our lives seemed not so certain. And, her question of “10 years” played over and over in my head. And, for good reason.
The fact is if she had asked me that same question ten years ago there’s no doubt we’d stay. But, ten years from now in our current season of life? That’s a completely different story. How?
Well, 10 years from now…
- My wife and I will empty-nesters and possibly grandparents. We have five children ranging in ages from 20 to 9 so no more little ones.
- Andrea’s parents will be into their 70’s and our kids will all be grown. And, seven hours away is the closest we have lived to them in fiften years. My wife’s parents are young and healthy, but do we want to rob them of what little time the could have investing in our younger children? No, we don’t.
- All of my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. will all be well into the latter years and some might not be here at all.
I could go on and on but I think you get the picture. And, these are only just a few examples of what brought us to our decision. But, I promise to fill in more gaps as we progress.
What’s Next
As you might imagine, there are lots of things to consider in a very small window of time. We have to get the house ready for the market, look for another place to live, and oh yeah, decide where we are going to be moving to. No big deal. The hardest thing is going to be telling our friends. But, we have included most of them in this decision for counsel and support.
Still, I don’t look forward to eventually telling our friends and neighbors goodbye. My heart is already aching.
It goes without saying we are still a little shocked and surprised we are doing this because we’ve never been in a situation that allowed us to dictate the terms of something this heavy. It was usually always tied to a job.
Personally, I still can’t believe we’re doing this and there’s so much to do. We have to get the house ready for the market, look for another place to live, and oh yeah, decide where we are going to be moving to. No big deal.
I’ll do my best to keep you all updated as the process unfolds so be on the lookout for blog posts that are not food-related.
Thank you all for your support, love, and encouragement. It means more than you could possibly ever imagine.
Peace & Plants,
shane
Jamie
First off, the first thing I noticed was your Dunder Mifflin T-shirt… lol… big Office fan here… now I know why I like your blog so much, lol… Kidding… Seriously, though, your recipes have saved me from dinner failure numerous times! So I want to thank you for your efforts with this blog. It has to be one of my top faves! No joke! Anyways… I appreciate you pouring your heart out. Encouragement is not one of my greatest abilities, but I feel for you, my friend. I think being a mother, a wife, or just simply and adult has been one of the toughest jobs I have ever had. Life has thrown me so many curve balls. Just don’t give up! Four years ago, we had to make similar decisions. Looking back, I could say it has balanced itself out. Was it easy? Not at all! But we made it. You will, too. Have faith. Be hopeful! Ugh… I’m so terrible at this, lol… but I get it. Just want you to know you’re not alone.
Tonya M Owens
I had to wait to reply to you until I had more time on my hands to give you a decent read.
I think it’s great you chose to do this.
Three years ago my husband died. I worked a year bouncing my youngest son (he was 8 at the time) from sitter to sitter. Finally I up and just quit my job and decided I’d find a way.
What I really wanted to do was buy an RV and my son and I just hit the road. I’ve always wanted to travel but never could afford it. (My husband was sick for 8 years before he passed and required lots of care taking.) But, my dad ( turning 81 next week) begged me to stay. Now mind you, dad hasn’t ever really been much part of my life up until now. But part of the agreement was he sent me to get an AutoCad Cert and he went back to work full time as an engineer and I do his Cad work. I’ve been working for him and taking care of him really. Work is what keeps him going. Good thing I didn’t hit the road. Wouldve been bad during covid anyway!
Well covid slowed his business down so finally last month I had to give up and get a job working as a Tech for MoDOT. Funny thing is the minute I got a job, his work piled on and I’ve been working morning til night for two months straight…no days off. He still needs my help and he is the one that paid for my Cad cert so I work for him when he needs it. No matter what.
But the moral of my story… I did what I needed to do to be here for my dad. And my other kids. BTW my oldest is 20 years older than my youngest (with one in the middle)…never say never. LOL.
I do hope you get your house sold and find what you need also btw, I have a sewing business on the side as well and taxes are so hard for me to deal with, I loathe them. They got all behind during my husbands illness and I finally caught up in 2019.
Also… I really don’t have time to cook and my house doesn’t have anything but a window unit while I wait on a service man to fix it (all summer now) and its 100 degrees… and I am eating horribly.
But I still talk about you to everyone. Just gave your name out to several co workers last week!
Keep doing what you have to do!
Nena
Good for you! Keep us posted….
Shane Martin
Will do:)
Jenni
Some things that have helped me with moves over the years (I’ve moved across the globe over a dozen times): 1) Photos – take lots of photos of the people, things, places you love in your current home. When your kids are reminiscing a year from now in the new location, those photos can help them understand the transition. Also, photograph items you love but don’t want to hold onto. Downsizing is part of almost every move. 2) Get the family together and plant a tree or a shrub to mark where you were and leave something of yourselves behind. Maybe you’ll have a chance to see how it’s grown in a few years when you visit. 3) Allow yourselves and your children to grieve for what you’re losing, but then make sure to appreciate what you’re gaining. I wish I’d been able to grieve my losses as a child – they have a way to come back and bite you as an adult. Loss of friends, loss of mentors, loss of pets, loss of favorite items, loss of places, but each of those things will be offset by gains of new friends, new mentors, new pets, new favorite items, new favorite places. 4) Realize that especially for your children, a move can mean a loss of identity. Help them understand that they have an opportunity to let their identity blossom in a new location. They can try new hobbies, sports, activities that they might not have considered with the set of friends and routines they had in the old location. And trying new things can be a way to meet new friends, establish new routines, and learn what you love or don’t in the process. 5) Once moved, realize there will be days when nothing in the new place seems right, when a family member is sad, when you feel unsettled. Know it won’t be that way forever. Things get better.
Hope that helps. Moving is a transitional process. But there comes a day when you can look back and realize it was all worth it.
Vivian Hill
Thanks for sharing these posts, Shane. It helps us know you better. Thank you for all you do for us!
Shane Martin
Thank you for the kind words.
Heather McCarthy
Congrats on your big decision to move! This is exciting! Yes, of course its scary, too… But what a grand adventure! I am a Desert Storm era Veteran, as well as a veteran to moving around, both with and without a family. Every new location brought the bittersweet moments of remembering what was and trying not to compare them to the new place/people/environment. My sanity-saver was making lists… Though we did make it a family affair by brainstorming all of the “to do’s” and concerns and putting them into different “buckets”. The kids had fun and felt like they were a part of the process of moving. My children are now 27, 21, and 13 and do not look at moving as being something stressful or scary. This is a wonderful opportunity to potentially be closer to family, allowing your children the experience of moving, and gives your family another potential vacation spot after the move when you visit the town/area you move away from.
Shane Martin
Heather,
Thanks for reaching out and for your service.
Blessings,
shane
Linda
Hi Shane, I am not english speaking, so please bear with me and the spelling and grammer. My son and family move to N Zeeland about 15 years ago, we miss him, hes beautiful wife and my two grandchildren. As a mother and grandmother I know how hard it was for them to take that amaizing jump for his future. Thank God we visit each other every 2 years for about 6 weeks. Yes and still it is not enough. Thanks for scape and facetime, but for parents that is just not enough ever! Where are the hugs, the dinners, the family gatherings? Every one of us, do what is best for your family. Do not ever judge yourself for the thanges you made for the best for your family. They are and will always be number one in your life. Thanks for the recipes, I love them all. God bless
Shane Martin
Thank you and blessings.
Samia
I hope and pray your move goes easily and well, not to mention selling your house and all the countless details. We have been thru Hell on our latest move. I’d do it all different. Good old hindsight. You generally sound wiser than me.
Now, I’d like to advise you (my advice is always at no charge :)) to not necessarily expect that your life will be as empty nesters in 10 years’ time. Our society/country is unstable – I would say we are circling the drain; there are many rapid changes occurring, almost daily, and only the superrich will remain unscathed and maybe not even them. Nothing is predictable as it used to be. Your children may not have jobs or be able to get into a postsecondary school. I have an adult son living at home, unemployed (prospects not good), and we never, ever thought this would occur. Grandchildren? Well, the “side” effects of the Corona 19 vaccine include infertility and miscarriage. These things must not be ignored, we can’t turn our eyes the other way.
I am not wanting to rain on your happy parade; I want you to take it from an old timer that this is a bad time in our history and we must not just pretend that things will magically reverse themselves. While I am here – thank you for your recipes and dietary advice.
Shane Martin
Thank you so much!!!
Charlene Wagner
Shane,
I will follow you where ever you end up.
You are such an inspiration.
That takes care of the online Shane.
Now–you need to think of your wife and immediate family.
Life is an adventure.
You can make a home anywhere. It’s not a structure(that is a house) it is the love
put into the people you are around in the immediate.
You can’t think of your decisions based around now friends and extended family.
There are way too many variables.
You really can’t read in to the decision with your kids either.
Sit down with your wife and decide what both of you want for your next new adventure.
My husband and I moved our family from Illinois to Florida 7 years ago.
We had always wanted to move from the cold winters and to experience sunny Florida.
One day I came home and said “Let’s do it”. We have never looked back.
My relationship with my very close family changed somewhat–but you know what? It survived.
We have been having the time of our life exploring. I often time ask him when does he think he would like to try moving again but to another state ?
Life is short-lived. Pick up and move and if it doesn’t work out–move back–or move somewhere different.
Many will actually admire you for it.
Hang in there,
Much Love..
Shane Martin
Thank you, Charlene!!!
Susan
I just recently found your blog as I am trying to eat healthier to help with my rheumatoid arthritis. I wish I’d found you sooner!! The recipes and tips make WFPB sound more doable even though I’m not there yet.
I appreciate your transparency about your life, as well. I don’t have much advise to give but 25 years ago we made the decision for my husband to quit his job and move back home to be close to family, so that our children would have “roots” (both my husband and I grew up moving a lot). We have never regretted our decision. We built our dream home where we expected to live the rest of our lives (we lived there for 25 years). A few years after my father passed, my mother was having health issues and difficulty keeping up her house so we moved in with her to help so that she could still stay in her home instead of assisted living. We kept our house for 3 years, but recently sold it, because we decided it was too big for the two of us (we’ve been empty-nesters for a long time now), a good time to sell, and upkeep of 2 houses starting to get harder and expensive, health issues (me), we just retired, and 2 daughters are getting married!!! Selling our house was SO hard, though. I’m still grieving it but know it was right thing to do.
I wish you the best as you and your family make these hard decisions. Keep sharing!!!
Shane Martin
Thank you, Susan! And, thank you for sharing and encouragement.
Judy
As a grandparent who thoroughly enjoys a close relationship with the grands (physically as well as socially), I applaud your decision. You will not regret it.
Katherine Torrington
Shane:
The goodness and love you sow will follow you wherever you go and you will reap many blessings in your new home. Thank you for all the seeds of kindness, compassion and good health that you plant through your work. May you and your family be showered with all the best!
Shane Martin
Thank you!
Donna
Ahhhhh Shane I’ve been very concerned reading lately of this life episode of change for ya’ll… moving can be a most challenging & confusing time.
Sounds like you’re managing things well… one issue, one day at a time. Just takes- time for sure. Breathe deeply, prayers are with you buddy!! Thank you for sharing your personal journey with us. You are loved & appreciated brother!!
Shane Martin
Thank you so much, Donna!
Diane
Shane… We are going thru a move now, and there are days I feel should we have done this but we live on water and with all the hurricanes and floods, my husband and myself could not handle the upkeep and leaving for shelter elsewhere every time there was a hurricane or storm,so we are moving.. Fortunately it is in the same country, but it is odd how a home and friends seem to be so much of one’s life. I remember our move from up north to Florida , 34 years ago, and I know it is difficult, but I have kept in touch with all of our friends. up there and you will find that it does all work out.. I wish you and your family the best of everything. I thank you for all you do.. Good Luck and bless you all.
Diane
Shane Martin
Thank you so much, Diane!
Gina
I would be nervous if I were in your shoes too, Shane, but you are in the perfect situation to make this move! Cheers to both you and your wife for having the courage to follow your guts (pun intended 😉), both in work and life. And thank you for the work you do – it has made all the difference in my journey of being less worried to choose, cook and eat fresh plants, Lol. (Why is that scary?!)
Have fun in your new adventures!
Shane Martin
Thank you, Gina!
Karla Havlina
Make sure to plan many trips back to NC to visit your friends and the area you love. We made a decision to move to the Panhandle of Florida about 20 years ago to be half way to each family. Don’t regret being able to get to each family at a moment’s notice. I did, however, and still do, miss living out west. The way I deal is to travel there yearly to see the mountains and visit all of my friends. I even rent a cabin five doors down from the cabin we had built as our first home.
Wishing you all the best!!! Keep on keeping on! “The only thing that remains the same, is change.” (Melissa Etheridge)
Shane Martin
Thank you, Karla! That’s actually been one of the things we’ve been talking about. We love vacationing in the Blue Ridge and have no plans on stopping:) Sounds like we’ll be doing what y’all do only on the east coast:)
John Ware
Shane, I know things will work out for you; they have for me – let me tell you my story.
For many years, I was an international operations executive for a series of well-known high-tech companies and, later, my own very successful company. I enjoyed living in different places around the world, seeing and experiencing new things in places most Americans would never see or experience.
About ten years ago, I lost my entire family in a plane crash: wife, three kids, and my mother. I was in istanbul at the time setting up yet another manufacturing facility for one of my clients. I didn’t blame myself for the tragedy, but I do blame myself for putting off a move that could have taken fate away from us.
It had nothing to do with money or anything else except for time and the commitment I had made to the client. Needless to say, I was devastated and it took me years to get over it. All I can say to you is, don’t cogitate over the “should we or shouldn’t we” aspect. It doesn’t sound like you have, but you have to do what’s best at the time.
Enjoy your family and the time you have with them – esp. the ones who are getting up there in age. One never knows…
And thanks for all you do – your blog has been my mainstay since I turned PB’d last year at the ripe old age of 69.
Shane Martin
Oh, John, I am so sorry! I can’t even and don’t want to, imagine. Brother, I will be remembering you in my prayers. Thank you for the encouragement and for sharing your story. Blessings, brother.
Tonya M Owens
Wow, this is heartbreaking yet encouraging. And I agree as a widow raising a kid and trying to figure out how to make life work… Shane is my mainstay as well. I just eat very basic. I don’t want fancy and Shane makes it so easy.
Ten years isn’t very long when you get older. I appreciate reading your story.
Kirsten
My husband, son, dog and I sold our house at the end of last year and moved to a different state. We moved “away” from our life, but also moved “to” something as well. Lower cost of living, slower pace, and more open space within which to breathe deeper and slow things down. I won’t say it was all easy. Leaving friends and family was, most definitely, the hardest. But, the move was too right not to make. It checked too many positive boxes and we haven’t looked back. We bought a home and are joining groups to make friends. Sometimes it’s just right to go out of your comfort zone and shake things up. Change isn’t easy but it’s necessary. It helps us grow and learn and adapt to new things. I wish you and your family the very best in this new chapter. Take care and thank you for sharing.
Shane Martin
Thank you!
Alison de Caussin
I love reading your posts, whether recipe related or your personal journey. Moving is exhilarating and also stressful and I wish you and your lovely family joy and lots of laughter throughout this transition and in your new home. Change is (almost) always a wonderful thing. Cheers to you on your move 👏
Shane Martin
Thank you!
Richard Wright
Shane, thanks for the update. While I applaud your decision, I sure don’t envy the task ahead. Moving is exciting and traumatic at the same time, especially with young ones that may think differently about your choice.
Just know there are thousands of us that admire you, appreciate what you do consistently to make our lives better and healthier, and we pray for a safe transition for you and your family.
God bless…
Shane Martin
Thank you!!!
Kim
Good luck with your move! I love your blog and your great recipes! It sounds like an exciting time!!!
Shane Martin
Thank you!
Shawna
Tough decision and so stressful. Glad you decided to share your story. with us, and though it might not feel like it at present, it’ll all work out. Hugs.
Shane Martin
Thank you!
Rudo
I thought I was going to run into you at some community function in Charlotte as I reside in Salisbury! I am happy for you that you were able to make this decision and things seem to have fallen into place. I am looking forward to reading the rest of the post about your move. All the best!
Shane Martin
We’ll be back from time to time.
Thank you,
shane
Christine
Good luck on your journey in life. ❤️❤️
Shane Martin
Thank you!
Aileen H. Kimel
+Shane, you are level headed, smart, and creative. You and your wife will figure this out. You both probably know by now the weather you like, the type of outdoors you like, the type of home that suits you both…etc. etc. etc. Consider it a wonderful adventure which will lead you to a wonderful new home/life. We all wish you the best of luck…..and know that you will find your nesting place. Lots of luck to you all.
Shane Martin
Thank you!!!
Barb
Thank you for sharing your story! Times are difficult and moving is always a big stressor but soon you will be enjoying a new adventure! It’s wonderful to be near family. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best. I always enjoy your plant-based cooking! You inspire me! Barb
Shane Martin
Thank you!!!
Jimmy
My wife and I LOVE your blog!!!! Prayers going up, but we are certain that you all will find an awesome home in an awesome place!!!! (BTW, Knoxville area is AWESOME! But we are very prejudice since we live here…..lol) Thank you so very much for all you do!
Shane Martin
Thank you!!!
Sherryl
Vaya con Dios! It will be great. Just keep expecting the best is yet to come. If love, family, and relationships are the seed of your decision, the fruit is bound to be sweet (occasionally bittersweet).
Shane Martin
Thank you so much!
Donna Smith
Sounds like you and your wife have made a smart well thought out decision. Peace love and luck in your new home. Keep the recipes coming!!
Donna
Shane Martin
Thank you, Donna!
Susan Wright
I hope you like it I have two friends that live there but we live in Ohio and we have 4 seasons and we love it no flooding or fires but we just hope you like it there thanks for letting us know
Shane Martin
Thank you!
Rachelle Caruso
I love the fresh start that moving brings. A new place to decorate, new memories to make, purging stuff as I pack up the old place. It’s very cleansing, IMHO. Are you going to stay in the US? I’ve been dreaming of doing the VanLife for a few years, then perhaps moving to another country… but we’ll see where the wind takes me. Wishing you all the best!
Shane Martin
Hi, Rachelle and thank you! We’ll be in Mississippi.
Nancy Ouellette
My husband and I moved from Charlotte also in 2016. We ended up in Nashville as my best friend was here but has since passed. We left all of our friends and neighbors and it took a while to get settled but it’s still evolving. We just have to take one day at a time. Good luck 🙂
Shane Martin
Thank you, Nancy!
Lynda Osborne
How exciting and how scary….one door closes, another opens…..I think the family bond is what really matters….I am certain everything will fall into place perfectly….. the universe has your back… and we have you to thank for your fantastic recipes, etc…. You deserve whatever comes to u….looking forward to your progress reports….
Shane Martin
Thank you, Lynda!
Raechel
Dear Ones,
Seasons change, but the One Who never changes orders a Righteous man’s steps.
Shane Martin
Amen.
Dhianna
I read your recipes every day. The lentil soup is the best my family has ever had! Your blog is a breath of fresh air and has helped me with a plant based diet. Growing up in Colorado, I saw the place completely change. Over the past 30 years, we have moved a lot and are now in Florida.
I have never had family nearby, but my daughter and son in law are moving near by and I am looking forward to it. You made the right move.
Shane Martin
Thank you!!!
Rose_Anne
Nice to know a little about the fellow and family behind the recipes. Thank you, Shane.
Like you, I’m also a zero-fat vegan who loves developing recipes. If you get too busy (what with the move and all), and need a few recipes, please let me know: I’ll happily contribute (the tried [by friends] and true, easy and tasty).
Cheers,
Rose_Anne
Shane Martin
Thank you!!!
Sue
There’s more than 2 sides on the moving coin. I can give you 1 bit of advice that has helped us in our 11 moves. The sooner you started making memories in your new home the sooner it will be home. Invite friends, have parties, dinners, sleepovers, whatever it takes. It’ll help ease the loss of the leaving. Take care.
Shane Martin
Thanks, Sue! We are way ahead of you:) Thanks for reaching out and for the encouraging words. Peace.
Donna S Bolitho
We are on the other side. Moving to be closer to our adult grandchildren and our youngest granddaughter and our first great granddaughter. My husband will be retiring as he’s 74 but I’m not sure what I’m going to do. It’s an exciting time but leaving my dream job of managing a campground wasn’t an easy decision to make.
Good luck making many new memories.
Shane Martin
Thank you, Donna!
Charmaine
It’s always interesting to get the back story to what seems to be a dramatic change… it does make sense but damnit why does adulting have to be so hard?
Thanks for sharing!
Shane Martin
I know, right? LOL! Thanks for reaching out.